Yesterday, I turned 62.
It has been a rough year for me, off & on, for various reasons, getting older which is not the least of those reasons! You don’t really believe that aging will affect you, hinder your lifestyle…until it does. And a main result of events in my particular situation has been a continual lessening of my writing-related activities. And a result of that has been a continual increase in a sense of emotional flatness, deadness even. The term ‘despair’ might not be going too far.
Yesterday, I cried aloud to God.
My condition was becoming unbearable, so much so that I couldn’t find the right words. I’m not sure what I did say, or ask. I don’t think I was even able to form a complete sentence. I only knew that I needed release. I was walking to the bus stop, headed for work, and a cry broke out from my heart. Sitting in the first seat of the bus was Part One of my answer, though I didn’t realize it at the moment. During my shift, Part Two approached me, fully fleshing out & confirming earlier counsel. Both persons were trusted brethren in the Lord. The testimony of two witnesses establishes a word.
Today, peace like a river is flowing…and we see I’m writing again.
Now, my worst dilemma at the moment is: Where do I start? What threads do I pick up & try tying together? So I thought I would begin with re-evaluating my post-Election Day thoughts. On November 7, 2012, I wrote:
Barack Obama has been re-elected.
I never even considered that this could actually happen, and I am completely, completely deflated. My heart is heavy. We, the People, kept him in office. Right now, all I can do is cry. I have no starch left in me, and at this point, I want nothing more to do with politics.
When I recover from this setback (and ‘setback’ isn’t really a strong enough word), re-evaluation will be the order of the day. Because I know that the Scriptures tell us that it is God who raises up & brings low, I must accept that it is His intention for Barack Obama to have been re-elected. Things are not out of control, and , though it may appear so, the devil has not won.
Two months later…and it has taken a full two months…my mindset is considerably improved. It has to be, or I will be of no help to anyone. A willingness to reassess & make deliberate changes to one’s previous conclusions would seem to be a necessary part of the process to carry on. I don’t know that such changes should be sweeping – or the prior beliefs/suspicions completely discarded from memory – but accepting the possibility that one may have been misguided in certain areas might prove beneficial.
In retrospect, I have to admit that there were times when I’ve wondered, am I too quick to echo agreement with an opinion, or a cause, or a petition, because in general I support the author, or the general ‘mission statement’ of a website? It seems too easy to do that, without appropriate individual investigating. And when the position being echoed is one of fault-finding…after awhile, when the contest is over and your opponent has won…how does continued digging in of your heels help anything at all? It didn’t stop the eventual outcome, did it?
“I’ve negotiated many deals in my life and here’s what they take. A win-win and a willingness to treat your opponents with respect. Not a constant win-lose and a denigration of your opponent at every opportunity. You’re not going to get a good deal that way.” – Carly Fiorina, Vice Chair, National Republican Senatorial Committee & former CEO of Hewlett-Packard, speaking on Meet the Press.
A similar sentiment of laying down one’s weapons of chronic accusation was expressed by former Speaker Newt Gingrich during this same conversation: “Republicans ought to quit worrying about President Obama. The president’s going to be president. The House ought to worry about being the House. Senate Republicans ought to worry about being Senate Republicans. Let the president deal with reality from their side.”
Let’s get on with the business of running America, to the best of our abilities.